I didn't wanna go to the Supercrawl - I was sore and way too anxious to be around all those people. But I forced myself because I guess I felt I would rather be in pain and have anxiety than to sit home like I always do and feel like the world is spinning without me, and I'm watching people live their lives in ways I just cannot.
I love my city and the things I love most about it are things I have difficulty participating in because of my illnesses and social anxiety and that pisses me off so much.
So I went with Brian. There were about 200% more people there than I imagined - it was huge and awesome. I was nervous and overwhelmed but after being there a while, I started to relax and focus more on the art than on how I was feeling and how I might look to everyone else.
And I had a good time and felt the same inspiration I always do when I go to the Art Crawl, except much more so.
I got signed prints of Irving's clothing store on James Street that I cannot find a picture of for some reason, and a larger print of This Aint Hollywood:
We decided to end the evening by stopping at This Aint Hollywood for a drink.
Two posts in one day? Yeah. I didn't talk about any of the stuff I meant to in my previous entry. Free-flow writing is like that, you never know where it's going to take you, and apparently my psyche needed to bitch about other things.
Anyway, on Monday, Brian met me after work and we went to Zum Linzer on Main for the Kinky Restaurant Crawl (it's the Kinky Restaurant Crawl only because all the people who come are kinksters, we do not wear latex and dog collars at the restaurants).
I've heard a lot about this place because a friend of ours (Ravenshire Fetish) is one of the cooks there. It's German cuisine - If you've ever heard of the Black Forest Inn, well this place is even better and the prices are extremely fair for what you get.
So a few good friends made it out and it was a fun night, which I really really needed cause as I've been saying, I've been living under a rock for quite a while.
I ordered the Schnitzel Cordon Bleu, which is ham and cheese wrapped in a pork schnitzel, with home fries (that are cooked in bacon fat O_O) and veggies. It also comes with soup or salad to start as well as a basket of rye bread. The Schnitzel Cordon Bleu sounds disgusting to me, but it tasted like heaven and I will definitely be getting that again some day. The portions were huge and the meal was only thirteen dollars. I usually hate pea soup and am not a big soup person in general but for some reason I felt like soup so I got the pea soup instead of the salad as my starter and it was fricken delicious! Plus I had a Stiegl with my meal and I think that's one of my new favourite beers.
The service was really friendly, patient, and overall good. The dining room was quaint, laid back, cozy. And my entire bill was only twenty-one dollars (before tip). Before going, I expected to be paying no less than thirty dollars for my meal but I was pleasantly mistaken.
Everyone decided to go out for ice-cream for dessert up to the Marble Slab Creamery on Upper James, but I went home instead cause I'm really poor this month. I've never been there but from the sounds of it, I really really want to go. Ice-cream = Good.
And because I somehow always manage to surround myself with geeks (I love it), what came out of the night was a spin-off group where we take turns hosting movie night where we watch corny, cheesy, horrible sci-fi movies. Our first movie will be Barbarella. There'd better be a lot of boobs.
Tuesday was the Hamilton Writers meeting. That was good. Of course since the meetings are held at Chesters - Beers of the World, I had to order a Stiegl, just to make sure it was still as yummy as it was the night before :-p And yes, it was.
The majority of us are gearing up for NaNoWriMo, which is now only four days away. As has been my tradition for three years now, I wait till the week before to fully decide I will participate and then wait still until it is just days away to consider what I might write about. My first year was exciting - I had no clue whatsoever about what I was going to write about - nothing. I still managed to make it past 50, 000 words but it taught me that I need to have at least some idea or plan before beginning so that it wouldn't be so hard to come up with things to write. Not to mention the fact that the more planning that goes into it, the better chance of the piece being publishable with some work. Mine was/is publishable with A LOT of work.
My second year I actually had an idea and did a very minute amount of planning. It made the process much easier and I was able to soar past 50,000 words before the thirty day dead line. The writing was/is good but it is unfinished. I decided after the contest ended to take a short break from writing since I'd been writing like a mad-woman for thirty days straight and it's always good to replenish your creative juices and whatnot. The problem is, I never picked it back up.
This, my third year, I have an inkling of what I'm going to write about. It was a last minute idea that I will divulge to you later. If I'm smart, I will do some planning for it because this is something I would actually want to publish eventually. Should be interesting.
Among the things I've learned from participating in NaNoWriMo is a particular block I seem to have. I'd love to figure out how to get around it: the problem is, the writing I like to do most is very much like the writing I do when I make a blog entry - it is free-flowing, personal, and very much my voice, my personality. But when I sit down to write something (other than a blog or journal), I can't seem to write this way. I think a big part of the block is the expectation that whatever it is I've decided to write has to be a certain way or follow certain literary rules or be like the rest of the similar works. So I either end up stuck or I end up writing in a style that does not work because it is so "fake".. the voice is... lacking whatever it is that makes prose sound "true." It's hard to explain. Others may like the writing I've done like this, but if I don't like it, it's not satisfying.
Anyway, any advice would be appreciated.
My good friend Mel is getting handfasted this Saturday and I'm her witness. This will be my first handfasting so it should be interesting. I was invited to one around this time last year but a [insert horrible curse words and insulting adjectives] taxi driver made me miss it.
Then I'm off to Brian's for Sunday and Monday where we will be carving pumpkins and other Halloweeny goodness. I miss him (and Drew) and wish they didn't live so far away :-( poop.
Though I will admit absence really does make the heart (and other body parts) grow fonder.
Another winter, another series of complaints cleverly disguised as blog entries by yours truly. I do include other tidbits and can sometimes be insightful, so maybe it's not a complete waste of time.
Complaint of the day: so fucking drained of energy. It's likely something I can fix if I really try, but the fact that I'm too tired to do so is the evil, viscous circle.
One thing I have learned though, no matter what may be ailing you, you will more often than not feel better if you have a glass of water. I'm serious. And this especially goes for lack of energy. I think I need to go get myself some water now...
So it has been a little over one month since I quit smoking and for the last two days I have had inklings of regret. I still don't want to smoke, in the bigger picture, but my god do I sometimes I want to smoke. It's purely psychological and I'm pretty logical about it but what scares me is when I'm emotional: when I am extremely emotionally disregulated, most of my logic goes right out the door and my mind craves things it knows will give me immediate gratification... it wants me to soothe myself and tends to want to fall back on unhealthy, quick fixes... from over-eating, drinking, taking pills, being promiscuous, cutting, living in bed, etc. etc. and now one of those things is having a cigarette.
Cigarettes are an old friend. We shared a sixteen year friendship, actually. That's a long time to be addicted to something. But as unhealthy a friend as they were, if I'm in enough distress, I have little to stop me from saying 'fuck it.' And that scares me. But at least I know no matter what happens, logic is never gone forever and will kick my ass if I give into the temptation.
It's funny, a cigarette does not do a thing for me chemically (I don't physically crave it anymore, that has passed) but psychologically it is an old comfort, it is a whole "this is who I am, this is part of my persona" thing, as weird as that sounds. But I will be strong.
I have quit five times before this and for some reason, this particular time feels extremely different than the other times. I feel like I have a lot more control over it this time. I dunno why. Maybe it's just that I have a lot more skills to use.
I'm not enjoying the need to eat so much, it's never been a thing before, but I know that's temporary and it's much more worth gaining some weight that will likely come back off than smoking and all the health shit that comes along with it. I mean, I was in the emergency room with asthma attacks... I think gaining few pounds is forgivable if it means staying out of the ER lol.
That's enough about smoking, I need something to eat :-p
Brian slept over on Friday night which was awesomeness. One of my favourite things in the world is waking up with him there, waking up to him giving me a sweet kiss and holding me. It's the perfect way to wake up and I really wish I could wake up that way everyday. *Sigh* Desire is suffering... grumble grumble.
Anyhew, on Saturday he took me to Thai Memory for dinner. It's a really nice place next to the Sky Dragon Center on King William. The food is the best Thai I've ever had, the prices are good, and it's so serene - there's a big pond/fountain thing that I particularly love. They're pretty cool there: if you pay with cash they take 5% off your bill and if you bring your own tupperware to bring home your leftovers, they take off another 5%. Awesomeness. I had a red curry chicken dish with coconut rice (mmmmm) and Brian had the Pad Thai (he has had many many Pad Thais in his time and he claims this was the best one yet). We were unfortunately too full for dessert, which would have been ginger ice cream.
After that we walked over to the Citadel on Rebecca to go see a play that our friend was in: it was called "Suburban Motel" by George F. Walker (directed by Tyler Brent). It consisted of two small plays: Risk Everything and Criminal Genius.
"Risk Everything" was definitely THE better play (not that the other one wasn't good), the acting was amazing and I'm looking forward to seeing more, and yes, Tara Smith (Hot-T from the Petit Fours) did steal the show ;-)
After that awesomeness we went over to Gallaghers for a friend's birthday gathering. It is VERY hard to socialize when the music is so loud you can't hear the person next to you screaming in your ear. It's a shame because I really like the atmosphere there. Oh well.
Today is Sunday blah-ness time. Had a two hour nap today, couldn't help it.
Tomorrow is the restaurant crawl and Tuesday is Hamilton Writers, so I'm sure I'll have more to write about. Project Un-Isolate Marylin is well underway, but not easy :-s
I figure it's time for some sort of update as I haven't posted in a while. My mood's been low but I'm still kicking. I went through a couple of bad dating experiences in the last few months and it just deflated me. I don't handle pain well, ya see. Then again, who does? Right now I'm just trying to bring myself back up - I have absolutely no energy for most things and I just wanna go to bed. A couple of other really hard things have come up now too and my emotions are very confused and fragile because of it. So if anyone wonders why I've been acting crazier than usual, or why I'm doing fuck-all, now you know and hopefully forgive me. If you read this blog and wonder if the girl called 'Marylin' is ever actually happy, the answer is 'yes, yes she is.' It is only the fact that I do a lot of my blogging when I'm feeling down because I find it extremely healing - that is why this place paints such an angsty picture.
Now that that's out of the way... let's see what I wanna talk about.
Last Friday I went to two interesting stores with Jodie and Mike: first, Ways To Wisdom, which I've been to before, then, a Catholic supply store that I forget the name of down in the east end, which I've never been to.
Ways To Wisdom is a fun store if you're into spirituality and occult-type stuff, which I am. Aside from the ridiculously high prices, it's a great store - a lot of interesting books on varying topics and any kind of thing you might want, from herbs and candles, to jewelery and oracle cards. I found a beautiful set of cards but too much moola. Anyway, it was fun times.
Then to the Catholic supply store. This is a store that sells... well, Catholic stuff. Books, bibles, rosaries, pictures of Jesus, crucifixes, candles, economy packs of the communion host, and priest's robes. Not remembering where I was, the first thing I did when I walked in the door upon seeing a ginormous poster of Jesus's face was exclaim "holy mary mother of god!!!" This set the tone for the experience. The store clerk proceeded to administer dirty looks as we browsed and asked questions regarding each of our standing in the Catholic church. The judgmental tone did not go unnoticed when asked what church I go to. I nervously responded, feeling like no time had passed by since I was a kid being taught to be very very afraid and very very ashamed by the very adults meant to shape my mind for the future. Why the need to feel guilty for just standing there, examining merchandise? No need, just the natural way of things I suppose: the church can have a strong hold on a person, most especially those who grew up in it. My fifty-something year old father is still strongly affected by his attendance at Catholic elementary school - I've only been cut loose for a decade and a half.
I walked out of that store and noticed I was holding my breath. Wow. That is what I call powerful black magic. I found the experience of both stores interesting to in comparison and thought I'd share. I'm not saying any one spiritual path is better or worse than another, I'm just speaking my own experience. Though I will openly admit I am vehemently against organized religion that uses guilt and fear and any other cult-like device to keep its followers in control - I consider that a form of harm and therefore, bad karma. Not to mention it does nothing to allow for real spiritual growth. For me, I don't do religion, and this is just me, I'm not against religion per say (sp?), but I'm personally unable to fit inside a box. I'm spiritual, and that is good enough for me. I could talk on this subject forever so I'll move on.
I'll move on to somewhat political things... I guess I'm in the mood to discuss the un-discussable topics.
I don't know how many of you have noticed, but the world is going to 'hell in a handbag' at incredible speed these days. If you're keeping up with the goings-on of the world, you might have noticed things are pretty bad and getting worse. Some people wonder why I talk about conspiracies, thinking I'm a nut or something, but what I talk about is what I see and hear right in front of my face: I read the and watch various news sources, I learn about the history of what is going on, the history of war, the history of politics and religion and whatever else will help make sense of current affairs, I listen to the words and watch the actions of those in power and I feel the need to speak out about it, because I care.
What I don't understand are people who think that everything anti-establishment or anti-government is either conspiracy theory craziness or some sort of anarchy. This doesn't make sense. This is no different then a "conspiracy nut" who thinks that every single thing is a conspiracy. Different sides of the same coin. Either of these cases are ones in which the person is not being objective and if you can't be objective, you're not really going to find out the truth. It's the same as science: if you're only hoping for one conclusion in an experiment then you are likely to either ignore any result that does not fit your expectations or you're likely to steer the variables in the direction of your bias. It's just bad science.
Here is what I hope people will do: read it anyway. Even if you think something is ridiculous or the opinion of some nut-job, read it/watch it anyway. And don't discount everything that is not the 'norm' just because you disagree with some things that are not popular opinion. Opening yourself up to all view points makes for a much stronger knowledge base to go on. Don't stop learning. Be careful not to discount something just because it seems outrageous. Outrageous things do happen. Look at our history and you can plainly see that. I believe it was Galileo who was tried by the Inquisition, found "vehemently suspect of heresy," forced to recant, and spent the rest of his life under house arrest for suggesting that the earth was not the center of the universe. This is just a quick example but you get my drift.
And with that 'lecture' I will leave you with this bit of truth from an oldie but a goodie:
Okay and maybe a little George Carlin for good measure ;o)
I feel like crap. Like I just want to shed a few layers of filth, pain or whatever it is weighing me down right now. I'm just so tired. I'm also disgruntled at the moment because people fucking suck. By people, I mean the men I bring into my life - why do they all despise me so? I'm sure it's my own fault, but it's ridiculous. If you don't like me, JUST FUCKING SAY SO - don't play games with me; don't brush me off and then find me when your dick gets hard or when you're bored, BE A FUCKING MAN. I know, apparently I have a tattoo on my forehead that says 'slut' or 'no I don't mind being walked all over' - or at least that's what men like to think. I'm so tired of being treated like less than human and I'm tired of writing in this thing about it because I'm not a man hater damnit, I'm just a magnet for getting hurt or something. And I'm pissed off because I was blown off by a friend yesterday and he doesn't seem to register that fact... oh I'm a perpetual machine of forgiveness and gullibility.
St. Patrick's day was interesting: went to open mic night at the doors. It was ok. Some guy was stalking me around the bar continually demanding that I come home with him to fuck - I think the poor guy needs professional help but I didn't appreciate the boob grabbing and whipping out of the dick... I'm sure he went home alone. I had my first green beer, watched some of the game on the big screen telly, ran into someone I haven't seen in over a year, made out with a hot chick who had really tasty lip gloss on, got about a million compliments on the awesomeness that is my hair, and ultimately met someone at the very end of the night who I hope is interested and doesn't turn out to be like every other fucking guy I meet. I guess I'll find out...
For the very few hours I was awake yesterday, I threw together this video about nothing for the purposes of practice and getting used to the camera, etc. I know I'm not photogenic at all but oh well. I really am a camwhore at heart....
Until next time, be good and be nice! (And thanks for letting me complain).
Ugh, I feel like the bear being forced to wake up because spring is approaching and it's time to gtfo of the cave now. Well it's not a comfortable transition: I'm cold and tired and sore and I need a couple cups of coffee first, k? My sleep has been screwy for the last week or so. I tried to stay up today but had the wise idea of laying down and watching a documentary where a bunch of people perform Leonard Cohen songs, with him speaking randomly in between in that beautiful voice of his... that's all the lullaby I need. I woke and decided to practice the guitar more but got flustered cause I couldn't find any good videos to help teach me. I just wanted to learn the damn 'B' chord... that shouldn't be so hard, should it?
I was looking at my long neglected YouTube channel because I wanted to change my username since 'Lilith Kills' doesn't really reference much, I just think it's a cool name. Apparently you have to make a whole new account to do that so I don't think I'm going to. I have two videos on there and I'm thinking about making another one soon just for fun. No idea what I'd do on it but I'll figure it out. One of my videos is a sort of book trailer I made a long time ago to help promote my book and I thought since I could really use the money right now and I still have copies, that I'd share my cheesy video here and see if anyone out there wants to read some really good fucking poetry. So, without further ado...
Thank you, thank you :op
In other news, I ran into a friend from high school last week at This Ain't Hollywood, who now lives in the city so that is awesome - I need more females in my life, especially ones who aren't dipsticks. Speaking of TAH, all three bands were fucking good and I didn't realize Hamilton was harbouring such kick ass female rockers. I am pleased. I am also pleased (while we're on the subject of music) to announce that The Creepshow are playing The Casbah on the 31st and tickets are only $10 and I am very excited! We (Buttercup) interviewed them back in October '09 and I loved them as soon as I heard them. Hellz yeah.
I finished (for the most part) a piece that was inspired by Picasso in a way that I'm sure no one could possibly guess lol. I really like it but I don't like it so much digitally - it lost a lot of awesomeness through the scanning process, but I'll show you anyway:
I'm going to a life-drawing class next month - I've never been to one but the price is very cheap and I want to take advantage of the experience. I think it's going to be an ongoing thing so maybe I'll actually get good, ya never know! It should be fun, anyway.
I know I'm all over the place in this entry but I want to speak briefly about publishing: am I the only one confused these days about what having your book published means? Here is what I have always thought: To publish your book, a publisher buys your manuscript and pays you royalties. To self-publish your book, you design and print it (or hire someone to do that) and you make all the profit from sales (unless you've hired someone to market it or something). And vanity publishing is paying some company (usually way too much money) to do everything for you, usually relinquishing most of the creative and financial control. Have these definitions changed in the last few years? I realize reading the wikipedia definitions clarify, but in reality, I've come across many people who don't seem to realize the difference. I dunno, I guess it's just a stupid pet peeve and I wish the lines were more distinguishable/explainable. Sigh. It just reminds me of the damn poetry.com bullshit all over again.
Anyway, St. Patrick's Day tomorrow... not really a special day but I'm going to go out anyway and have a green beer because I've never actually had one before. I know, it's just beer w/food colouring, but still, it's green.
I totally lost it this weekend - something in me decided I didn't wanna deal with the pain I was going through (being reject #539 'er something) and so I didn't: instead, I pulled an old favourite and got myself and nice and wasted at around three in the afternoon on Saturday. Being drunk and angry just feels so much better than sober and pathetic and in too much pain to be conscious. I was quite trashed and decided I had to get out of the apartment, so, feeling nice and self-destructive, I narrowed my options and decided to head to Corktown to see Randy and Mr. Lahey (from the Trailer Park Boys). So I wobbled over there, flask full of whiskey hidden in my purse (and bottle of Ativan just in case?) and actually had a pretty good time - the show was funny and as drunk as I was, I remember some of it - even standing with the rest of the patrons to sing 'Oh, Canada' after the 'boys' poked fun at those silly people requesting the lyric change (it's not hard to feel at least a little patriotic after those beautiful Olympic games).
Anyway, after that a few guys I know from a band got up and played a set with a new band they're in (Radio Free Universe: members include fellas from Bombshell and the guy from King Clansey) so that was okay. Then closing time. That's where things got ridiculous.
Some dude asked if he could share the cab with me cause he lives just a few blocks from where I'm going so I said sure why not. That was a really stupid move apparently because all he did was get out of the cab at the same place as me and followed me into my fucking apartment building. So I was fucking stuck in my apartment lobby with this really creepy guy who wanted to come to my apartment with me and kept calling me a bitch cause I was saying 'no, leave' meanwhile trying to grope and kiss me. Then he drags me on the elevator! so I obviously refused to press any buttons cause I didn't want him knowing where I live (obviously). After I don't know how long (and after flashing me in said elevator) he got fed up with the elevator business and tried pulling me into a stairwell. But as wasted as I was, I was able to fight (thank gods). Oh did I mention he grabbed my keys from me and wouldn't give them back?
Finally after about an hour of this torture he left and I booted my ass up to my apartment and locked the doors.
The next day was a hang-over and that same yuckiness that was intolerable the day before, except this time no drinky poo (as Mr. Lahey would put it). I slept a good chunk of it away, then later on dealt with some unpleasantness and shed the damn tears I was trying so hard to avoid in the first place. What a train wreck. I'm pretty sure anyone talking to me lately thinks I'm a nut bag unless of course you already know me, then you already know I'm a nut bag. Well, at least I learn from it all, that's something.
So after little to no sleep last night I had to get up early for an assessment to get into the eating disorders clinic here in Hamilton. I pressed snooze at least ten times and felt like pure shit. The assessment consisted of me sitting in this psychiatrist lady's office while she asked me about everything from my childhood to my suicidal tendencies and everything in between for about two and a half hours. By the time we were done, I was completely drained and a little depressed because I had just talked about my life for two and a half hours and it was all really shitty stuff so it made me feel like I've had a really negative life.
As much as my apartment needs to be cleaned and that article needs to be written for Buttercup, there was no way. I slept pretty much all day and it was very much needed. And this is a big chunk of why I. am. exhausted. No wonder it feels alien when I tell people my age cause I sure feel like I've been stuck at 13 forever. I am so jealous of people who know how to live and people who know how not to fuck shit up and people who are reading this blog feeling sorry for me because they can't imagine being so miserably stupid. And now I'm starting to make myself sick with my whining so I'll move on.
I do have some positive things to talk about. I got a guitar! Sean brought it over about a half hour ago and I've decided to relearn. Yay! Maybe when I'm 40 I'll be a rock star ;o) I don't know how to read music - I learn by watching and listening because of course I like to do things the hard way. I used to know so many freaking songs - I knew almost every Hole song too! Damnit I wish I could remember.
What else, I needs monies. I'm usually good with monies but I'm so tight this month and it's a really bad month to be broke cause I have two writer's meetings and a few shows I just have to go to. Thursday I'm heading to 'This Ain't Hollywood' to see '13 Bags of Dick' and 'Allysa In The Apple Tree.' On the 20th I'm going to see 'Steel Mountie' at 'Bread And Roses.' 'Rackula' is having a CD release at the 'Casbah' on the 27th and I think that's it (I hope so cause I have no money! Please donate - I will show you my bra strap [no, I am not kidding]). I need to do my damn taxes.
I's sick. Yes, sick. As tough as my immune system is, stress is a killer.
I think I'm sposed to be sick though, as odd as it sounds, I needed a break from responsibility. It doesn't take much for me to get overwhelmed as it is, and lately my life has been becoming busier and busier.
So my body is now forcing me to rest and I'm resting to the best of my ability! Unfortunately I missed the Supercrawl because of this, which sucks much ass, but it was out of my hands and I'll just have to go to the regular art crawl next month.
Where was I? I can't write when the music is blaring and I have been having to play music as of late to drown out certain other noises (no no I'm not hearing voices in my head lol). I won't go into detail except to say it sucks and I'm too tired and sick right now to do anything else. Ugh.
Anyway! Some of the stuff I've been up to in the past month...
Last Friday was MiniSoOnCon at Think Haus! I wasn't going to go because I would have to go solo and I'm very shy and introverted and all that fun stuff. But I went anyway and was pleased to see that most of the other guests in attendance were just as shy and introverted as I am! I've never been to a hacker conference before so the sight of a room full of people sitting quietly, looking at their laps in complete silence was both hilarious and refreshing.
It did not remain that quiet all night though: once people started to get to know each other and of course get some alcohol into them, it was pretty good times! A lot of people showed up. People from Diyode (from Guelph), HackLab.TO (from Toronto), KwartzLab (from Kitchener), think|haus (from Hamilton,of course), FouLab (from Montreal), as well as other hackerspaces and someone even came out from Rochester! So yeah I met a lot of awesome people and we managed to get hackers from all over Canada to come out to our humble space.
We had a yummy bar-b-que, despite the bad weather, and a well stocked bar - I don't remember the bartender's name but she was awesome.
We had (what I now understand to be a hacker con tradition) really cool frikken badges. I mean, I saw these things being made at the space and didn't quite get it until the finished product was presented:
The picture doesn't really do it justice - but it's awesome and everyone in attendance wore one.
According to what I've been told, the tradition is to hack your badge and see who can do the coolest thing with theirs, which, I suppose, is why our lounge area was filled with drunk people soldering - mhmmm, unfortunately I don't have a photo of that madness.
See that little house there? That's the Think Haus logo. Don made that! He is awesoma powa.
Paul (TH) graced us with demonstrations of the long awaited http://www.emotiv.com/ - the thing reads your mind maaaan! No, srsly, you put it on your head and it detects your facial expressions, eyeball movement, emotions, thoughts, actions, and "can be used to control not only a virtual environment, but also a live environment through the help of micro-controllers and actuators."
I love this thing, the implications get me very excited!
The other cool thing going on was the arrival of the CUPCAKE Makerbot (3D printer). It wasn't assembled until the next day of the con, so since I didn't make it that day, I didn't see that, but here's a video cause I only vaguely understand why this is awesome:
That lovely gal is Leigh Honeywell from Hacklab T.O. and the fella behind the mic is Wayne MacPhail giving us awesome coverage.
Isn't our space da bomb? It's been being "fixed up" for four months and is now officially a workable hackerspace.
I wish I could have taken pictures myself but my camera is acting wonky.
Needless to say it was awesome (especially considering Think Haus is only four months old!) and I'm looking forward to it next year.
What I did find interesting was the very small percentage of females in attendance: Adina and I from TH, Leigh and Alex from T.O., the bartender gal, and maybe one or two others (I mean no offense it's just my memory sucks right now). Then a crap-load of mens. I love mens the best, but it begs the question, why? Where are the geeky gals? I know you're out there! Come over to the dark side, we have beer! (and cookies, and cupcakes!).
This little MiniSoOnCon attendee is on the right track!
zomg she's cute!
What else... Oh Tetro! haha
Hamilton just had a film festival called Festitalia International Film Festival. I know, it aint TIFF, deal. Riley and I went to see a film called Tetro, which turned out to be an okay movie. The best part of the night? Discovering that Jackson Square cinemas got brand new seats for the event! Yay! Clean theater seats! And they're slightly more comfy too, woot!
Anyway, that was fun, next year I wanna try to see more of the films. Hell, next year I might go to TIFF.
Before that, I went away to Parrysound to stay at someone's cottage for four days. I LOVE going there, it's so relaxing and peaceful surrounded by nature. Last year upon arrival, as soon as I stepped out of the van all my heartache and stress dissipated and I was at peace the whole time I was there. Of course it came back when I came home, but at least for that short time I was at peace.
I expected/hoped for the same this year, especially since my stress this year is quite a bit less than it was last year, but no such luck. I was at peace, but there was still things nagging at me in the back of my head. I'm pretty sure I know why now but all in all it was a good time. I swam in the lake and it was COLD! but very clean and refreshing. I paddled a rowboat all by myself *proud grin.* I made a smore (I love love bonfires) and did some meditating and crocheting. Yep.
I got a great tarot reading from Franco Minatel - he did a reading for me a few years ago but I didn't recognize him until he started reading my cards.
The day ended as the very bright sun was making its way below the horizon, with all joining a circle for a little closing ritual, which was quite nice.
I'm using notepad to write this due to LiveJournal having erased my damn blog the other day, right when I was done typing it, but before, of course, I had a chance to post.
I currently have zero drama going on in my life (thank gods) and nothing immediately worrisome or depressing going on.
That feels nice. Freeing.
Now I'm left with me to deal with! I'm doing a good job, considering, but I have a nagging feeling of... I don't even know... it's just unsettling.
Like, what's going to happen now?
Anxiety about the next thing that will trigger me because I know too well it kills me everytime: it's very black and white - right now I feel happy and hopeful... tomorrow, depending on what happens, I could want to kill myself (knock on wood).
A feeling of being lost, having no footing, being unsure of my self/life, feeling scattered and unfocused.
Oh the joys of mental illness.
The only explanation that comes to mind is that I'm undergoing such drastic change in my ways of thinking, behaving, and believing that I'm not sure who or what I'm becoming... unfamiliar territory.
That's an awesome thing. If I'm wrong, then I really don't know what's up. Do anxiety disorders have to be triggered by situations or can anxiety arise on its own accord?
That could be it. Who knows.
In other, not so unrelated news, I'm finally starting the DBT group next Tuesday. I've been on the waiting list for a couple of years for this! DBT is apparently the make or break therapy for people with Borderline Personality Disorder.
I used to be very bitter about not having had this therapy before... before any damage to my relationship(s) was done. But now I realize that whatever happened, happened because I needed to go through certain things and to learn certain lessons.
A bitter-sweet realization, but better late than never.
Anyhew, it's a thirteen month long intensive group therapy - two hours a week with a group and one hour a week with my therapist one on one. Lots of homework in between.
I'm really excited but a little nervous, to be honest, about walking into a room full of women who have the same illness I have... I wouldn't even be able to handle one of me, let alone a group of me! But I know I'm just being silly ;o)
Along with the DBT stuff, I'm also working with an Al-Anonsponsor and have been going to meetings.
Since I've started doing this, I've learned so much about myself, others, and a lot of things that apply to my life as both a person affected by alcohol and a person with BPD.
All I can say is I'm growing daily and my life is already so much better after only a few weeks.
I can only guess how much growing I'll do for the next thirteen months as I do the DBT and Al-Anon... they're very similar actually.
Okay, enough mental stuff! I'll re-touch on some of the stuff I wrote the other day that LJ erased...
The contest was a seemingly cool attempt to market their 2009 Nissan Cube using nothing but social media (twitter).
Fifty creative Canadians had a seemingly fair chance at winning and Sunny and Blake were among those fifty chosen.
I'm a lazy gal, so if I didn't believe the Crittendens to be exceptionally worthy or winning a car, I would never have posted about it on my blog, or spammed multiple online venues seeking votes for them.
They worked their asses off for months during the contest, I know how much time, effort, and energy was spent on their part: putting their lives on hold in the belief that this was a fair contest.
So by the time the judges were ready to announce the winners, most of us assumed either Sunny or Blake, or both of them, would be coming home from the event in a brand new car.
When that didn't happen, we were left scratching our heads.
These two entries in Encyclopedia Dramatica explain quite well why shit went down the way it did: A simple case of the worst execution of a marketing competition I've ever heard of, to put it lightly.
Speaking of Sunny: You're one tough lady! I'm glad you're doing okay (considering) and I hope they gave you a strong enough cocktail to not be in too much discomfort, and to hopefully get a decent high ;o) You are very loved <3
Completely random thought: I wish there was a healthy diet that didn't require counting, weighing, portioning, etc. of the food.
And shame on you, Winking Judge, for having the worst service I've possibly ever had the other night:
I arrived around 6:45pm, ordered a drink, and sat down.
The waitress eventually came over and asked if I wanted to order food, to which I responded that I would wait a bit, since my friend had yet to arrive.
At 7pm, friend arrived.
At 7:45pm, we were both wondering when in the world the waitress was going to come and take his order (yes he'd been there 45 minutes and no one had served him!).
So he decided to go to the bar and get his drink.
At about 9:30pm after we'd both long finished our one drink of the night and felt quite invisible and disgruntled (and hungry!), we concluded that we were not welcome.
I went to pay for my drink (no tip of course) and the waitress actually forgot that my friend had already paid for his drink.
We left, puzzled and not buzzed.
So folks, from 6:45pm to 9:30pm (two and a half hours I believe), we were approached by the waitress once and once only. She never came to our table. The place was empty. She was sitting and reading a newspaper!!! Horrid.
Anyway, to top off the lovely service, I went to the washroom and there was no fucking toilet paper in the stall.
I was just telling my friend earlier that blogging has pretty much become one of my coping tools. That's a pretty cool thing: before blogs/online journals/forums/what-have-you existed, this level of sharing didn't exist to us. There was no way (as far as I know) to write a journal entry and let the world read it (or at least the few wonderful people who subscribe to me).
Some people think that doing so is stupid. Whatever floats your boat, but I've found blogging to be not only cathartic, but probably the most effective tool I have to get through a time of distress.
Anyway, so many blog these days, there must be something to it...
So! I got Akoha in the mail!!!
(Yes that is my address, and yes I do want you to send me mail... friendly mail, that is!)
Anyway, I'm very excited. sunnybananas told me about Akoha Cards and I finally decided to get them. As far as I'm aware, it's an interactive game where the point is to pay-it-forward and the more you do, the more points you get.
These puppies come at a time when I'm feeling the need to be more generous, so I think they'll probably help push me into that frame of mind. Yay!
My only concern is finding people who will 'play' the game. If I use one of the cards on someone, I give them the card and they are supposed to go online and enter the code to indicate it was given to them and they have to pay-it-forward to someone else, and on it goes. The problem is I don't know many people who would be into actually doing that: putting in the code and then paying-it-forward. I dunno, it's probably cause most of the people I know are male... I think gals seems to be more open to this kind of thing.
Sooo now I'm just figuring out where to start :o)
Oooh, shiney new deck:
Don't mind me, I haven't gotten anything good in the mail in a loooong time - I was hurting!
In other news, my first attempt at guacamole was seemingly successful - I thought that shit was complicated to make. Nope.
My next new attempt in the kitchen will be, I believe, biscotti. I don't know why, I just have this compulsion to make biscotti *shrugs*
shrinkingalice asked something on Twitter about wands today. Got me reminiscing... brought out the wand I made a few years back (that's really how long it's been since I've used it) and after admiring the awesomeness of it, realized I'd grown out of most of these sorts of tools.
Anyway, I told her that wands are used (in a nutshell) to direct energy. To which she replied "so does it make the energy more powerful than just pointing with your hand or something?"
No. No it does not, lol. And if that is the case, than why do people use them? It's not just the wand, but a plethora of other such tools that every new Witch feels he/she must have.
That's pretty normal. Paganism, in it's huge growth spurt over the years, has gotten quite complex in its many paths and traditions: to try and learn them all would take a lifetime, and each one (some more than others) is so intricate and complex in its many beliefs, rituals, pantheons, and special tools or sacred objects it is quite mind-blowing.
Don't get me wrong, I love that. When you're first starting to learn you just absorb all the information you can. You buy books and (especially books for beginners) these books tell you what tools you will need and (hopefully) what those tools are for.
You certainly don't need any of them, but acquiring them does no harm either. You love your cool witchy stuff - who doesn't? I wanted all the tools too: I slowly acquired many, most of them second hand or made myself (like that wand).
If you're not just a show-off, a lot of these tools have uses and that's the main point of having them: the wand aids in directing energy. It represents air. Using a wand to direct energy does not make it more powerful, but it can greatly aid in the visualization necessary to direct said energy. Knowing this, many tools can be a great thing for the those starting to learn and practice.
I reached a point in my path where the 'stuff' involved in this way of spiritual practice started to turn me off. I would step back and look around me and see the Pagans showing off their stuff, selling their stuff, buying more stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff.
I'm sorry, but there comes a point when enough is enough and so much stuff gets distracting and in the way of the actual spirituality of it all.
So I say, tools: very cool, especially good for learning how to work with energy, but not at all necessary.
We have a Pagan Pride Festival here every autumn that I used to attend. But I started to notice that most of the actual festival was people selling their wares! So much vital stuff was missing that goes to the root of what Paganism is about. Very depressing. I don't go to the festival anymore.
Anyway, I guess I'm trying to say that material things should really be in moderation lest they become more important than your spirituality.
I'm probably going to catch a lot of flack for saying this, but the Pagan community has come off way to 'religiousy' for my liking. I grew up Catholic and left organized religion for very good reasons. By no means do I wish to be part of another. That's why I never called myself Wiccan - Wicca is a religion, a Pagan religion, but a religion nonetheless.
I think I'm now rambling and likely lost my point somewhere along the way.
Hmmm I'll close this rant by saying: you already have everything you need to practice spirituality and to be connected. You always will. Everything else is just extra.
Jodie and I ventured out to the Hamilton Cemetery today to walk around. I've always loved cemeteries: so peaceful and full of stone art.
Fun fact: The oldest of the Municipal Cemeteries is the Hamilton Cemetery at 777 York Boulevard. It is not only the oldest municipal cemetery in Hamilton but is, in fact, the oldest municipal cemetery in Canada. (hamiltonhistory.ca)
It's eerily humbling to think that a hundred years from now, I'll be dead and buried and the only way I'll really be remembered is if I make a mark on the world in some way. Even our grave stones fade, are consumed by the earth, and forgotten.
I think I'd like to make a mark or two.
I planned out my entire funeral in great detail when I was much younger. It was a big to do lol. What an odd thing for a kid to do with her spare time... I wish I still had that notebook, that would be an interesting read.
Anyway, one thing I always said I wanted was a very big, very beautiful statue to mark my grave - what an ego.
This one was quite striking. You can't tell from the picture, but they eyes on this lady are freaky - they look like they're staring into your damn soul! lol
Fun fun!
Or maybe today's excursion was a salute to death: the death of a lot of bullshit ways of thinking, thus acting, that I guess I thought I needed to cope... things I didn't even know I was thinking/doing.
Well you can't end something until you know that there's something there to end and then figuring out what it is, exactly - it just took me a while I suppose.
Lesson learned: you can tell a lot more about yourself (or rather, about how you feel about yourself) by your actions and reactions then you can by your thoughts and beliefs.
I dunno. I'm just trying to stay awake cause I don't feel like going to bed yet - the result of which is this half-ass blog post.
Showing VS Telling... is actually pretty hard when you're trying to do it on purpose. But let's keep that between you and I and pretend all my writing comes out flawlessly and effortlessly - shhhhhh.
Myself and a few members of my writing group are collaborating on a collection of short fantasy stories, making this - let me see - my first attempt at writing fantasy. Yeah, so I'm a bit out of my element, which is good, don't get me wrong, it's always good to step out of ones comfort zone, but it is also a bit nerve racking.
I haven't even thought of a story to write: I just sat down and started writing and I have no idea where it came from or where it's going but there it is.
Last night was the Think Haus meeting - fun stuff. Men are silly creatures! But they are fun creatures nonetheless so it's all good. We're planning on having at Maker Faire at the end of the summer, but keep that on the down-low cause we JUST started planning.
Lots of projects going on. Tonight is a super top sekret meeting for a super top sekret project so mind your fucking business! ;)
This Saturday Jodie and I are gonna hit the Maker's Market downtown. I'm not entirely sure what that is, but I'm almost positive it involves many booths with many artisans selling their wares. Homemade stuff rocks!
Next weekend I'm getting picked up by a strange man (love you Ronny!) and being driven up to Barrie where I will get shit-faced with my awesome friends Sunny, Blake, Lexi, the aforementioned strange man, and some other hobos. I have not been drunk in a while so don't judge! lol It's all for Canada Day... that's right... Canada Day.
I chose the movie because Mia Kirshner is in it and she is hot. So maybe that was a bad thing to base a choice on? I think so, because the movie kinda sucked. Plus, she was barely in it! I don't want to look at Scarlett Johansson thank you very much!
Oooh! Onto yet another subject, I'm going to Ikea tomorrow morning for the first time, and though I hate the idea of Ikea, I have heard that it is indeed a weird place to be so I wanna see for myself :P
Okay The Hamilton 24 Hour Film Festival. Approximately three weeks later, I will now blog about it.
The Hamilton 24 Hour Film Festival is a film making contest in it's second year. The gist of how it works is you get people together to form a team and sign up. Each team receives the same line, prop, and location and the contest begins.
For the next 24 hours, your team has to conceive, write, film, and edit a movie that is no more than five minutes long and utilizes the line, prop, and location given.
The film must be handed in within 24 hours, not a minute later, or it is disqualified.
Sound like fun folks? Well it is.
I was recruited to help write the script for a team headed by a member of my writer's group. The team consisted of myself and the producer, Steve, as well as Sean, Mike, and one or two other guys whose names are escaping me (John and Tim? Something like that, anyway) as writers, a director whose name I also do not recall, Ted, whose role to me is unclear but was a helpful one, Jeanette - who rocks, and an actress who I did not meet because I wasn't involved in the filming process and she was the actress.
We met at Sean's and waited for the phone call telling us what our line, prop, and location was - until we received that information, we couldn't really do much.
But when the phone call came, it was pretty bad: the prop was a Canadian flag, the line was "show me the money," and the location was inside a car. Probably some of the shittiest prompts I've ever heard in combination. "Show me the money"? Yikes.
Brainstorming ensued and was slow coming - I had pretty much nuthin' but that's not new for me. I'd say I spent the majority of the night poo-pooing other people's ideas LOL - okay no I don't mean that in the way you're thinking! I just mean that I wanted to make sure the story was believable, that it wouldn't make the audience have to fill in the blanks, and that is wasn't obvious. I was hoping for something original.
Mind you, this wasn't my baby, it was Steve's, but I just wanted to do the best we could.
I know very little about writing for the screen and I've only done it once before this experience. I did spend a good chunk of the afternoon beforehand making notes but they didn't come in handy after all.
Let me tell you something else, I learned a whole lot about the differences between men and women when it comes to what they like to see, how they think, and what kind of ideas they have. Because before Jeanette arrived, I was the only person there without a penis - out-numbered I tell you! Suffice it to say that sex and violence were popular themes, especially stuck together, and in the end, that is what won out.
Now it's not like we had a lot to go with - I think we had two or three ideas altogether, which is kinda scary if you think about it cause we were there for hours brainstorming lol. But the chosen idea, for me, was bad. It wasn't anyone's bad idea, it was just too hastily dealt with. And again, this was not my baby, so the fact that I hated the idea didn't mean much - I was the minority.
The idea I would have gone with was very original and GOOD. It had only one issue but I think that issue could have been fixed quite easily.
The idea we went with was very cliche and BAD. The line was included in a completely unbeleivable way, it was offensive, unrealistic, incomplete, and compeltely testosterone fueled. The only thing about it that was good was the utilization of the prop. That was clever.
Aren't I the critic eh? Not a drop of experience and I'm snobbing it up! :P
What I am, though, is a writer. I am also a reader and a movie watcher. So I'm standing on that ;)
Where was I? Write. Writing, yes. Writing began: the four scenes were split up so the writing would go more quickly - I chose the last scene.
I learned that I suck at writing scripts hahaha. No seriously... I was the last to finish, I presented pages of writing where a few would have been more than enough from what I gather. Kind of embarrassing but whatcha gonna do?
But that was it, my part in the process was complete but I hung out for a while longer cause I like to watch stuff happen: Sean wrote the final draft in proper format and the story line was being done almost as soon as Sean finished typing the words.
What happened next I do not know: it was around 4-5am and my eyelids were getting droopy so home I went and left the rest to make movie magic.
They had to finish the story board, then do all that filming stuff (which I kinda would have liked to observe cause it's cool), then do the editing and hand it in to be scrutinized, analyzed, criticized, and ultimately judged by some important people I've never heard of.
The following weekend would be the awards event where we would find out how well our fair film actually fared. I'm not even gonna go into why I didn't attend this gala, because I really really wanted to - it was red carpet for saint Peter's sake! So I'll just move onto the conclusion.
I believe there were around 27ish teams in total who entered the competition this year and I believe our film ended up placing around 16-17ish? I don't remember what was said at the moment but I'm sure I'm close enough. I was surprised, I gotta say.
And there ya go, project film festival finis!
I had a a lot of fun participating in this. It was very frustrating but also so rewarding. I felt useful, which is rare for me these days, and there's a good chance I'll do it all over again if given the opportunity.
This may seem funny, but I haven't actually seen the film yet. I am currently working on getting hold of a copy - there's not way I can't watch a film that I helped create, that would just be foolishness. And when I do see it, I will let you all know what I think. Maybe I'll end up eating my words, you never know.
So there ya go. And thanks to Steve for attributing this to the Hamilton Writers group, that was really cool.
I feel like I haven't blogged in forever! I guess I got away with it for having written a novelette last week. That was interesting... an experience I've never had that's for sure. I wrote this entry expecting a few angry comments, a few ugly words flung at me for outing their previously untouchable queen of mixed media. Not so. Here I am, two weeks later and there is currently about 1090 comments posted.
Turns out my story wasn't so different then the experience of quite a few others and my entry was the "event" or gateway they needed to speak about it.
During these two weeks, I experienced a lot of ignorant folks (or, to be fair, ignorant comments) that leave me still scratching my head in bewilderment. I now realize that people will only see what they want to see. They will only believe what they want to believe, or what keeps things safe for them. People will skip the important parts, and when that happens, there's just no use in discussing it. A lot like conversations I've had with Christians (no offense, I speak about certain ones, not all of them).
But if you start with the truth, continue with the truth, and come out at the end with the truth, you've done the best you can.
There is now a place for people to talk about their experiences with this woman without fear. That is a wonderful thing and it will stay right where it is.
Anyway, onwards and upwards!
Now that I've got that ton of bricks off my shoulders, I'm sticking my nose in a bunch of other awesome endeavors.
I'm moving my workspace (hopefully by next week) into the other room where it is bigger and has a balcony! I'll get to enjoy the natural lighting and that yummy fresh air I never get enough of. Just need to figure out how to set up all the crazy internet wires again (I'm not used to the cable set up) and I'm good to go. I'm excited!!!!
There is a good possibility that I will be joining the Arts Hamilton Literary Advisory Committee - apparently Hamilton has Literary Awards, how did I not know this?
I've started a collaborative writing project with some of the members of my writing group: it's an idea that was raised probably a year ago but nothing ever happened with it.
It should be fun, help get people writing, and hopefully come out in the end with a publishable piece.
Project hackspace has come quite a ways in the past few weeks: a location has been found and the lease is to be signed any day now I believe. So June 1st is probably when we 'get' the place. Though I'm still waiting to see how involved I'm going to be in this whole thing. It's funny though, a bunch of nerds who all think they're the best at stuff (myself and Don included) so it makes for an interesting time - everyone of us as arrogant as the next lol.
I've been enjoying talking with Poe, Camille, and Kelly again more often now that all cats are outta the bag - I love my internet friends :P Sunny is my internet friend as well but she lives so close that she's practically a rl friend too - especially when I go visit her, which I'm sure will happen sometime in the near future. Then I get to meet Lexi toooooooo!!!! woot!
Other than all that, I have a few other projects that I'm not gonna tell you about because they're none of your fucking business.
Just kidding, no, they're not ready to reveal yet so you'll just have to wait ;)
And no I haven't forgotten about the Hamilton 24 Hour Film Festival that I have yet to talk about - sheesh I'm behind on things... it's coming!
It feels good to blog again, that was a loooong two weeks and I missed you guys.
I have not had coffee in the apartment for days. I don't know why I let myself run out but I do and am forced to get out of bed and not have hot caffeine goodness to seduce me into staying out of bed.
So at the Think Haus (previously Hamilton Hackers but the name was changed and I hate the new name but what can ya do when you live in a shoe?) I excitedly helped myself to two lovely cups of the deliciousness. Awwww yeah.
It was a good meeting, a possible location has been found and will be checked out soon. It's very cool and because of the size, there are so many possibilities. What would you do if you had thousands of square feet at your disposal? Exactly.
Umm I'm tired. No coffee and this happens to be my week... my week to sleep... that week.
I have to read a crap-load of stuff still and give my feedback. I have to... oh guess what...
ODSP is giving me transportation to the local YWCA. I can go fifteen times a month (about 2x/week) so that's awesome. I'm gonna swim and do weight training stuff. So that's good news.
I don't wanna jinx it, but there's a real possibility that the new increase in my meds is doing something good. I'm still miserable as fuck and scared shitless to make any promises to myself, but I have noticed an increase in energy and motivation/will. We shall see.
I've been having bad dreams though. I'd say for the past month now. Not really nightmares, but bad dreams. They all relate to fears I have in real life about abandonment and a certain person.
My living room is still in upheaval but I put all my most used/favourite art supplies right next to my desk so they're right there ready to go all the time, which makes my life easier because I need to make the art. I needs to.
Oooh marylin.ca is finally pointing to the right server! FINALLY!!! So I'm gonna be uploading the site within the next few days and my website will finally be back in action.
I hope the warm weather comes and stays very soon cause I have a summer plan. Well, not really a plan so much as an agenda of sorts. It involves a backpack, an mp3 player, a camera, a notebook, a sketchbook, a bus pass, and a comfy pair of shoes among other things. Pretty self-explanatory.
The T.V. has been on a lot lately: I rarely watch it but it sort of keeps me company at night. Bad habit, but I guess I need it right now.
Just painted coat number three on my living room wall in 'Dare-Devil' red. I quite like it and can't wait till I can put up the wall shelves and get this room done.
Started a bit of Spring cleaning but not planning on going crazy as last year I planned such a big clean/over-haul of the apartment that I ended up getting overwhelmed and taking forever to finish.
Shrink just doubled my meds - I was on the lowest dose possible, apparently... kinda pisses me off. I hate hate taking medication but I sort of also don't want to be completely miserable.
I am pretty miserable. If someone as optimistic as I am can get like this, I feel so sorry for people who started out on the pessimistic side of life.
I've sort of given up for the time being. Not really sure what that means. I'm afraid of trying because I feel so defeated and exhausted from so many years of failure that I don't think I can handle it again. So at the moment, I'm pretty much just taking it easy, whatever that means. I'm at a stand-still of sorts. Do not apply pressure, contents may explode.
I'm most likely moving my writer's group to a new location. We've all had enough of loud, poorly lit establishments that cost us more than we'd like to spend. We have a perfect location, but the move should be worth the extra few blocks east.
Speaking of the group, one of the members is forming a team for the second annual Hamilton 24 Hour Film Festival. The script will be written by members of Hamilton Writers, with me as head writer, and the film will be credited to the group. I thought that was very nice of him to give the group publicity when he could have taken all the credit himself. That should be really fun - it's coming up on May 1st.
I'm also thinking I should buy a domain for Hamilton Writers cause the current website just isn't cutting it. So many ads. Stupid Freeservers...
And don't get me started on domains! We're coming up on May and marylin.ca has been offline since February because people are fucking stupid and don't know how to do their jobs. All I want to know is how to point my domain to the right server. It's been almost three months now and I'm still working on the problem. How stupid is that?
Ummm I've been meeting with a new group in Hamilton, currently called 'Hamilton Hacker Space' and that's been pretty cool. The plan is to rent a space in the city to share for projects of any kind that you don't really have room for or don't want to do in your home. It's for artists, crafters, DIYers, hackers, computer geeks, etc etc etc. We're currently looking for a place, so the verdict is still out on whether or not I'll be able to be an active member - it all depends on the location of the space. I don't drive, I can't walk far, and when it comes to winter months, it's impossible to get me out very far.
What else... 'Main Desserts' on Main and Locke is no more and has been replaced with 'Shanti Yoga'. The cake at 'Main Desserts' was to die for, but I think I need a yoga center more. They offer belly dancing, which I really wanna do, and on Friday nights there's meditation and chanting so I'm gonna check that out with Jodie (my super awesome friend and neighbour) this week. I could really use it.
I'm happy that the warmer weather is coming around. I'm gonna start going for walks. Need to get a new mp3 player.
I dunno what else... I'm itching to do art but my living room is all fucked-up cause I'm painting... most of my materials are kind of inaccessible. I should do something about that tomorrow gods damnit. A friend wants to do an art swap with me so I guess I'd better.
I'm tired. T.V. kills brain cells.
I saw the series finale of 'Corner Gas' tonight - I'm gonna miss that show. Canada pulled off a sitcom in the middle of R-E-G-I-N-A and it was SUCCESSFUL. That's quite the accomplishment. Kudos. Canada rocks... and we're funny as fuck.
This blog is pissing me off. I hate the colour combinations! I'm so bad with colour! Yet I do art, go figure. But yes, it's driving me crazy. I want some pink... how hard can that be? *sniff sniff* Alas I won't fret about it now... *grumble*
I think I might be driving my neighbours crazy with my over-playing of Amanda Palmer's new album. She kicks the can across the street though so fuck them. I want her photo book... photos of the dead Amanda Palmer... beautifully sick.... Amanda Fucking Palmer.
Ok no more of this nonsense. I'm getting too comfortable with this blogging thing eh? So now you know what's goin' on in a nutshell.
There will never be enough space to fill the thoughts in my head, but I appreciate this piece of the world wide interwebz, I really do.
"The Corporate Air Quality and Climate Change Strategic Plan aims to achieve the VISION 2020 goals that are related to air quality and climate change:
• To ensure that the City of Hamilton has the best air quality of any major urban area in Ontario"...
What?
Are we not aiming just a tad high here? How'z a bout starting with a more attainable goal, such as, hmmm, I don't know, making it so that the air quality isn't so bad that the stench makes any person sick?
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