Don't Drink The Wormwood!

I set the timer for three 15 minute intervals in a row: do you have any idea how much you can get accomplished in 15 minutes?  It's ridiculous.  I kept having to check the timer to see if it was broken because it seems like it should have gone off already.  Nope.  I got a lot more done than I set out to do because of this little trick - but more importantly, I got off my ass and started.  Fifteen minutes.  Mind you for more physical jobs like cleaning the apartment I think ten minutes may be a better idea, depending on my pain levels that day, because I found myself needing to sit around the ten minute mark.  But I pushed on I did!

Then I made myself a Swanson's microwave dinner and Mel came over.

And like the magi she is, she brought me frankincense and myrrh. This is the same friend whose handfasting I was at last Saturday, the one who was married by Santa :-D

I made a pot of wormwood tea.  Have you ever had wormwood tea?  It tastes like you're chewing aspirin.  No exaggeration. In fact, it's possibly worse than that. I got the stuff from Brian, who told me it was not possible to finish a whole cup of the stuff because of how nasty it tastes.  I had to test this theory, plus I wanted to see what effects it would have since it is well known for its ability to bring altered states and enhance the third eye etc. and since we were going to do readings, that would have been fitting. So we did our best to tolerate the horrific taste (with O.J. chasers).  I managed to finish half a cup, Mel was a real trooper and managed to finish all of hers.

The effects were good but not THAT good. Not good enough to repeat. I'll take my wormwood in incense form, thank you.

It was a nice, witchy night.

There's a story about her earrings that I find interesting:

Mel's step-mother gave her a pair of earrings that were owned by her sister.

The sister's name was Dana "Poppy" Pastori.  Poppy was her slave name.  She was planning to leave her bf/Master but I guess he didn't want to release her because instead, he strangled her and chopped her up into pieces which he then mummified and shoved into a box.

Her body was in that box for three years and then came Hurricane Katrina.  That's when her body was discovered.  He had kept her with him, even BROUGHT HER WITH HIM when he and his new gf moved.

Now he's in prison.

And her sister (Mel's step-mother) gave Mel the earrings that Dana had been wearing in that box the whole three years.  She told Mel she wanted her sister's spirit to "live with her."

So now Mel has these earrings...

Before mentioning any of this, Mel asked me to tell her what I felt from them (psychically).  That was on Saturday right before she was handfasted.  I felt nervous excitement.  Then I felt like the oxygen was cut off from my head and my ears started ringing.  So Mel then told me a bit about where they came from.

I held them again tonight, this time I felt like I was being pushed down and had a cutting pain in my arm right above the elbow.  Then Mel filled me in on a lot more of the details about these earrings.

I asked why her step-mother would want her sister's spirit to live with her rather than to move on - kinda weird don't ya think? But as the step-mother wished, Dana's spirit seems to now be hanging around Mel.  At least that's what she tells me.  But at least she's trying to help the woman move on, and I find it pretty cool that she seems to mainly be doing so in her dreams (yay dreams!).

Now there's a good lesson for all you Dom(me)s and Masters/Mistresses out there: if your slave wants to be released, it means s/he wants to end things, it does not mean you should go mental and pull an "if I can't have you, no one will" or something equally as psycho.

P.S. I love you Master! mwa!


<3 M

Flustergasted

 I've asked Brian to call me in the morning because a.)It's a hell of a lot nicer to wake up to him saying he loves me than it is to wake up to an alarm clock that makes me want to hide under the covers and b.)I've found it gets me up on a positive note that I carry throughout the day.  Today was the first day with him doing that.  It worked alright. I'll admit I went back to sleep for twenty minutes and the alarm woke me up the second time, but he asked me to meet him on messenger and I knew if I didn't he'd be calling again so at least I had a reason to get my ass out of bed.  I was really nervous that I wouldn't last the day without wanting to crawl back into bed but so far so good.

And my friend Mel is coming over this evening now so I have a reason not to go back to bed as well as a reason to tidy up around here.  We'll be doing some readings and whatnot.

But before the tidying up, I decided to set my timer for 15 minutes and work on my space.  The good news is that the job is easier than I thought and I worked on it for more like a half and hour cause I was sort of enjoying it.  It will take me way less time than I anticipated, which is awesomeness.

The bad news is that I made some messes while working and now I feel like my place is a bit overwhelming to have to tidy up.  I overwhelm easily.  I think if I set my timer again to 15 minutes like I did with the other project, I'll have an easier time feeling like I can actually tackle the job.  Mhmm yep.

The weekend is approaching way too soon... I have socializing planned and I don't feel ready to crawl out from my cave  yet.  Ah well.  Off I go to tidy.


<3 M

The World Is Upspydown

 I was nervous about my gyno appointment today because they're gonna stick a microscope inside me and see what's goin' on in there.  Turns out my appointment isn't till the 16th and that today's appointment was just a regular doctor's appointment.  So I went. And the receptionist informed me that my appointment is in fact tomorrow, not today O_O

I am fighting to stay out of bed.  I can't explain how hard it is.  And I don't have the mental or physical energy to do anything much while I am awake.

Now that the complaining portion of our program is complete...

I went to my friend Mel's handfasting this past Saturday.  It was a small, private ceremony.  It made me want to get married! :-p  The ceremony was performed by a man who is also the head Santa Claus of Hamilton, as I'm told.  I was also in his coven for a while.  I'd love to tell people that Santa Claus performed my wedding lol.

In all seriousness though, it was quite beautiful.  Here's a photo of the altar, taken by one of the guests:

Pretty!  It was awesomeness.  Congratulations Mike and Mel <3

In other news, I have a simple goal - Create a nice space here:

It's been sitting there like that for about two months or so now.  It's not that it's a difficult task, it's just that I haven't done it yet, don't know why, just haven't.  And I don't know when it will get done if I don't actually PLAN to do it.  So that's what I'm going to do.

According to the SMART Goal model, I have to be Specific and know exactly what it is I'm trying to achieve (what will it look like when I'm done), it has to be Measurable so I can track my progress (how will I know I am getting it done?), it has to be something Attainable that I can actually achieve (do I have the time, energy, and resources to get this done?), it has to be Relevant (do I even care if this is done?), and it has to be planned with a Time-frame in mind (what days will I work on this and for what amount of time? when will this be finished?).

Specific

I want to organize the space to create a place where I can sit and relax, read, meditate, etc.  I want it to be clutter-free and peaceful.  I want to put things up on the wall.

Measurable

When I am satisfied that I have done a decent job, when the space makes me feel the way I want to feel in it, I will know I have achieved the goal.

Attainable

Though I would prefer to paint the wall, get an area rug, and perhaps a different piece of furniture, I don't have the resources to do those things in the next few months.  But I still want to do something with the space rather than have it sit there looking cluttered and being useless, so I am using what I already have to do the best I can with it.  I believe a two month deadline for this job is more than reasonable.

Relevant

This goal is very relevant. I want a nice home and this space not being done is keeping that from happening.

Time-frame

I will spend a minimum of 15 minutes every weekday working on this.  I can spend more time if I want to, but 15 minutes is all that is required of me.  This goal will be completed on or before December 31st, 2011.

If I knew I really wanted to do this but was really lacking in motivation, I might list the pros and cons of achieving the goal.

I know it seems silly to be this detailed for such a seemingly small endeavor, but I really need to practice this stuff.  And like I said, this project is not gonna go anywhere if I don't turn the "gonna do" into "gonna do at this time and date."

I'll let you know how it goes.


<3 M