February 5, 2009

I Don't Know

I feel like I'm holding onto a kitten while the kitten bites and claws and scratches and kicks its hind legs to get away... but the kitten purrs when I pet him, he eats his kitty treats and he is the nicest kitty cat and cuddles up against me... but only when kitty wants to... a lot of the time when I want love from kitty he will ignore me or hiss at me-he's doesn't want to be bothered right now...

Too bad kitty is just a metaphor because if kitty was really a kitty I would expect such things... but from a human that behaviour is confusing and hurtful.

Loving someone makes it so easy to hurt them really bad... what happens when it becomes intolerable to take?

And when I really think about it, how much would they really care if I wasn't there anymore...


  1. Dear Marylin,
    Hi! I know your photo from Suzi's group. I want to say, concerning your post; take it from someone who spent way too many years allowing bad behavior from others-BE GOOD TO YOURSELF. If someone does not appreciate you, THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT. Don't waste your precious time. You do not want to spend years being hurt before you learn this valuable lesson. Sorry if I seem so serious, but I lost so much of life before I learned this lesson myself.
    Take Good Care.
    Carol B.

  2. You're right, Carol, though I must say I wrote this during a moment of sadness, which is usually a time when thinking is black and white and the whole picture isn't necessarily taken into consideration. That is definitely how I felt, and how I feel at times. Just trying to sort my feelings out and all of that. It's a sad truth that sometimes by being so afraid of something, you end up making that fear a reality. I just hope I can stop the fear before it destroys everything.


Thanks for reading <3