April 25, 2013

Step 1: Me, Myself, and I

Q: How do I feel when I'm alone?

A: When I'm alone, I feel more like myself than at any other time.  I like being in control of my environment because it effects my mood - I can choose to have silence, sing loudly, or turn on music.  I can relax and concentrate because no one can distract me. I can get in touch with myself a lot more and maintain better self-awareness.  I like being alone.

But sometimes it gets lonely and I crave companionship.  With Brian, I tend to miss him a lot and sometimes don't know what to do with myself when he's not around. I guess I got used to doing most things with him around and since he's the first bf I've ever lived with, I have no practice/previous experience to draw from.

I also prefer being alone because I feel super anxious and self-conscious around people, so I'm not able to be comfortable and just relax and be myself.  I just lock up when I'm with others and no one can see who I am because I'm closed off.

<3 M
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