A: When I'm alone, I feel more like myself than at any other time. I like being in control of my environment because it effects my mood - I can choose to have silence, sing loudly, or turn on music. I can relax and concentrate because no one can distract me. I can get in touch with myself a lot more and maintain better self-awareness. I like being alone.
But sometimes it gets lonely and I crave companionship. With Brian, I tend to miss him a lot and sometimes don't know what to do with myself when he's not around. I guess I got used to doing most things with him around and since he's the first bf I've ever lived with, I have no practice/previous experience to draw from.
I also prefer being alone because I feel super anxious and self-conscious around people, so I'm not able to be comfortable and just relax and be myself. I just lock up when I'm with others and no one can see who I am because I'm closed off.