April 19, 2013

I Am Exactly The Person That I Want To Be.

I should talk about how I'm on my fifth (or is it fourth... feels like fifth) day of detox from sugar and most high-carb foods/grain, but inspiration doesn't work cohesively so...

I was just in the bath and it occurred to me how I generally seem to be doing well in one area of my life and kinda so-so on most other areas at any given time. 

I've always assumed/hoped that one day in the near future, it would somehow all come together in a beautiful balance and I'd be this "together" person and no longer struggle with mundane things like making sure I do my laundry/pay the bills/take my meds/eat healthy/etc,/etc,/etc,... and I'd be awesome and be free to rock all the creative (or other) pursuits I wanted.

I don't think that's how it works, though.

I think it's possible that I (and many other people) am too hard on myself when it comes to expectations - that I believe most of my happiness will happen to me when I'm that other, future person.

I think, for the most part, we all just try to do our best and that is (has to be) good enough.  Happiness happens now.  Interesting how both those words begin... happiness happens when something is happening.  And that's true. Anyway.

I want to remember this so that I don't waste my days putting too much pressure on myself instead of focusing on what is happening in the moment.

Amanda Palmer puts it perfectly

Fuck yes
I am exactly the person that I want to be 

<3 M
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