July 13, 2010

I'll Fucking Rip Your Throat Out

Do you ever get so irritated you feel that way?  I sure do.  When I'm dealing with stress, especially when I'm out, I sometimes get so irritable I can't stand it.  I become  hypersensitive to noise and my tolerance for stupidity plummets.  The feeling is so severe that I sometimes feel like running and screaming out of whatever room/situation I'm in... or at the very least, saying 'shut the fuck up already!'

I've learned skills to cope with this kind of thing, but when it gets severe like that, it's all I can do to hold on to any semblance of composure, though I'm sure everyone can see the extreme irritability all over my face - I'm a horrible actor.

Tuesdays tend to be the worst days for this as I'm up early and out the door by 9:30am and off to sit for two hours in a room full of other BPD sufferers and have group therapy.  I then have lunch in a crowded hospital cafeteria and head to another type of therapy group for another two hours where there are way more people stuffed into a small room.  If I'm lucky, I get to call it a day at 3pm, but at least every three weeks I have to go downtown to a pub and run a writer's group meeting (after an already long day) from 6:30pm up to sometimes 11-12.   It can be almost impossible some of these days to not go completely insane.

Oh the joys of hypersensitivity...

Thank the gods this Tuesday business isn't permanent O_O


<3 M

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Thanks for reading <3