I figure it's time for some sort of update as I haven't posted in a while. My mood's been low but I'm still kicking. I went through a couple of bad dating experiences in the last few months and it just deflated me. I don't handle pain well, ya see. Then again, who does? Right now I'm just trying to bring myself back up - I have absolutely no energy for most things and I just wanna go to bed. A couple of other really hard things have come up now too and my emotions are very confused and fragile because of it. So if anyone wonders why I've been acting crazier than usual, or why I'm doing fuck-all, now you know and hopefully forgive me. If you read this blog and wonder if the girl called 'Marylin' is ever actually happy, the answer is 'yes, yes she is.' It is only the fact that I do a lot of my blogging when I'm feeling down because I find it extremely healing - that is why this place paints such an angsty picture.
Now that that's out of the way... let's see what I wanna talk about.
Last Friday I went to two interesting stores with Jodie and Mike: first, Ways To Wisdom, which I've been to before, then, a Catholic supply store that I forget the name of down in the east end, which I've never been to.
Ways To Wisdom is a fun store if you're into spirituality and occult-type stuff, which I am. Aside from the ridiculously high prices, it's a great store - a lot of interesting books on varying topics and any kind of thing you might want, from herbs and candles, to jewelery and oracle cards. I found a beautiful set of cards but too much moola. Anyway, it was fun times.
Then to the Catholic supply store. This is a store that sells... well, Catholic stuff. Books, bibles, rosaries, pictures of Jesus, crucifixes, candles, economy packs of the communion host, and priest's robes. Not remembering where I was, the first thing I did when I walked in the door upon seeing a ginormous poster of Jesus's face was exclaim "holy mary mother of god!!!" This set the tone for the experience. The store clerk proceeded to administer dirty looks as we browsed and asked questions regarding each of our standing in the Catholic church. The judgmental tone did not go unnoticed when asked what church I go to. I nervously responded, feeling like no time had passed by since I was a kid being taught to be very very afraid and very very ashamed by the very adults meant to shape my mind for the future. Why the need to feel guilty for just standing there, examining merchandise? No need, just the natural way of things I suppose: the church can have a strong hold on a person, most especially those who grew up in it. My fifty-something year old father is still strongly affected by his attendance at Catholic elementary school - I've only been cut loose for a decade and a half.
I walked out of that store and noticed I was holding my breath. Wow. That is what I call powerful black magic. I found the experience of both stores interesting to in comparison and thought I'd share. I'm not saying any one spiritual path is better or worse than another, I'm just speaking my own experience. Though I will openly admit I am vehemently against organized religion that uses guilt and fear and any other cult-like device to keep its followers in control - I consider that a form of harm and therefore, bad karma. Not to mention it does nothing to allow for real spiritual growth. For me, I don't do religion, and this is just me, I'm not against religion per say (sp?), but I'm personally unable to fit inside a box. I'm spiritual, and that is good enough for me. I could talk on this subject forever so I'll move on.
I'll move on to somewhat political things... I guess I'm in the mood to discuss the un-discussable topics.
I don't know how many of you have noticed, but the world is going to 'hell in a handbag' at incredible speed these days. If you're keeping up with the goings-on of the world, you might have noticed things are pretty bad and getting worse. Some people wonder why I talk about conspiracies, thinking I'm a nut or something, but what I talk about is what I see and hear right in front of my face: I read the and watch various news sources, I learn about the history of what is going on, the history of war, the history of politics and religion and whatever else will help make sense of current affairs, I listen to the words and watch the actions of those in power and I feel the need to speak out about it, because I care.
What I don't understand are people who think that everything anti-establishment or anti-government is either conspiracy theory craziness or some sort of anarchy. This doesn't make sense. This is no different then a "conspiracy nut" who thinks that every single thing is a conspiracy. Different sides of the same coin. Either of these cases are ones in which the person is not being objective and if you can't be objective, you're not really going to find out the truth. It's the same as science: if you're only hoping for one conclusion in an experiment then you are likely to either ignore any result that does not fit your expectations or you're likely to steer the variables in the direction of your bias. It's just bad science.
Here is what I hope people will do: read it anyway. Even if you think something is ridiculous or the opinion of some nut-job, read it/watch it anyway. And don't discount everything that is not the 'norm' just because you disagree with some things that are not popular opinion. Opening yourself up to all view points makes for a much stronger knowledge base to go on. Don't stop learning. Be careful not to discount something just because it seems outrageous. Outrageous things do happen. Look at our history and you can plainly see that. I believe it was Galileo who was tried by the Inquisition, found "vehemently suspect of heresy," forced to recant, and spent the rest of his life under house arrest for suggesting that the earth was not the center of the universe. This is just a quick example but you get my drift.
And with that 'lecture' I will leave you with this bit of truth from an oldie but a goodie:
Okay and maybe a little George Carlin for good measure ;o)