Unpoetry Unbecoming Unlady-Like Undone

I'd rather die than
to never have known you. I'd
rather die
than
to live life without you. I'd rather
die
than to watch you
destroy me
I'd rather die than to hear another
stupid lie

I don't want to
die but
I'm drowning
and you're holding on
so tight
to the life preserver watching as I go under
I go under
and come up for air only enough to keep me
suffering, going under
You hold me
under
and hold me up
to the surface
only enough to keep me keep me keep me
from leaving you with
everything
else
but
me.
Everything
fleeting
everything wonderful that will always
go wrong.

But I don't know how long I can hold
onto water
I don't know how strong I am or how long
before I sink down
forever...
I can't hold onto
water
I can't
BREATH
without you
I can't hold onto
nothing
while you hold onto me by a promise
of holding my head above
water
while the rest of me
drowns
and you look to
dry land
where no one is drowning where no one has
cried
for you...

When the water gets too
deep
for you
you seek the shore
I'm still
drowning and
you've found something easier

I still...
wait. Drowning in the deep you've
left me in hoping
you'll realize
you could have saved us both,
not just yourself.

-Love Marylin